So last night, I had a dream that a literary agent had emailed me out of nowhere to tell me she loved my blog, and she wanted to represent my book. I was excited in the dream. My goal was finally met. But I wasn’t sure what book she was talking about. Didn’t she know I was working on a revision? And as I was writing this dream down, it hit me — I haven’t been focusing on the book and the craft. In reality, I have been focusing on what I had to write to score an agent. And until I put the thought of the agent out of my mind, well, then I will never really be writing.
Tonight, I will put the same question under my pillow and see what happens. I did get some great writing done this morning, however. I wrote about the time I was sent to see a child psychologist. I didn’t want to go. I was about 11, so I came up with this plan. As soon as I met the psychologist, I was going to say the worst things possible. So, when he opened the door and stuck out his hand, I said, “F-U-C-K you.” He didn’t know what to do. Neither did my mother. I sat down in the chair, turned it to the wall, and giggled for an hour. Basically, I wrote a few scenes involving the child psychologists I saw.
But as I said in the beginning, I would also share the negative news. I’m getting pretty nervous about my student loans and making sure they’re taken care of. It will be fine, but there is just a bit of anxiety about them. I feel, even though it’s embarrassing, it’s important to share these details, too.
