30 Signs You Don’t Give a Shit about Your Age

BuzzFeed is awesome, but some of their posts — specifically those about turning a certain age — are kind of a downer. Well, I think age is just a number, and we spend too much of our lives feeling shitty about how high or low it is. So, here is a list for all those who don’t give a shit about their age.

1. When you don’t even think about having health insurance. (Elisa Franco)

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2. Instead of baby pictures or drunk photos, your Facebook friends are all about their travel experiences.

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3. And pictures in their bathing suits.

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4. You get carded, and your first instinct is, “Screw you, man. I didn’t bring my wallet.”

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 5. Using words like fortnight, ne’er do well, and groovy with reckless abandon. (Tom Pitts)

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6. You start a story with “I don’t really give a fuck what you think.”

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7. The first time I heard [insert any band name from the 60s even if you weren’t alive] it blew my mind. Totally life-changing experience, bro.

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8. Not punching someone in the face when a stranger asks you your age…and then you tell the truth (Jen Bartman).

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9. You totally read great children’s books — Green Eggs and Ham, James and the Giant Peach, and Where the Sidewalk Ends — with joy at a coffee shop.

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10. Not considering hair dye…ever! (Jen Bartman.)

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11. Black and white movies are never a reason not to watch a movie.

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12. You don’t know the difference between a Roth IRA and a regular IRA.

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13. Hearing someone say, “Those were the best times of my life,” makes you sick to your stomach, and you begin to wonder if they’re a zombie.

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14. You still believe that journalism should be objective and about seeking truth. (Nick Chandler)

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15. You still have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling.

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16. You often forget your age.

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17. Mickey Mouse will send you into fits.

18. Botox…no way! You would rather look like Homer Simpson than Joan Rivers.

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19. Marlon Brando, James Dean, and Robert Redford have always been the coolest dudes in the movies.

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20. You still scream “Puppy” when you see one when you’re walking outside. (Heron.)

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21. You groan about aches and pains, not because you’re old, but because you understand life can be a struggle. And it’s okay to express yourself…Shit! (Jen Bartman)

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22. Turning 21 was never a big a deal because you always had a fake i.d. (Stin)

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23. You love to laugh at people falling, and America’s Funniest Home Videos is still the best show on television.

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24. You have a two-day hangover, and you still don’t care. (Heron)

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25. The T-shirts from high school or college have never gone out of style.

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26. The thrill of making snow angels will always be in the mode. (Heron.)

27. You still play practical jokes on your siblings.

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28. You show up at the basketball court and your shorts are smaller than most women’s bathing suits.

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29. When your birthday starts inching closer, you don’t turn into a monster ready to tear people’s heads off at the mere mention of cake and the number of candles.

Saline's Project Swamp Monster
Saline’s Project Swamp Monster

30. You haven’t stopped believing in your dreams.

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